Never pass up a chance to sit down or relieve yourself. -old Apache saying

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Thomas Clay

And now a little political commentary with some humor tossed in. Take it away, Thomas Clay.



Just to be as transparent and clear as possible, I may have spent the last ten years saying things that were what some people would say were 'disrespectful' of the president of the United States.

It is true that on occasion that I have said that he was an Orange Shitdemon who defecates lies as easily as he breathes. I have also insulted his non-existent intelligence endlessly calling him an imbecile, a orange-face dunderhead, Donald Dumbfuckitus and when he had the unmitigated gall to say he was a 'stable genius' I made the observation that this was also inaccurate because any pet or rat in a stable had more intelligence than this absolute imbecile. I have literally worn out a thesaurus trying to find new words that can truly describe the flat imbecility that has afflicted every single person with a conscience.

I remember when Nixon said, 'Just think what you're losing. You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore' and that was true because nobody successfully kicked him into a coma that he did not recover from. Sadly Nixon lived longer than the 5 million people he murdered in Southeast Asia and his goblin Secretary of State lived to be a century old.

The point is that evil lives a very long time and we are still paying for the evil that Nixon unleashed on the people of America. Then came Ronald Reagan in his infinite stupidity unleashed the man who would do more damage to western civilization than any other humanoid in world history, Rupert Murdoch who is also going to keep his mortal coil into his 100th year and marry another woman every year who has the witchcraft to do what a Cialis and Viagra drip cannot do and that is raise the dead and Rupert has been angry about this for at least 50 years.

Over the past six days, Republicans have entirely forgotten how many times they said Hillary had not given a press conference or Joe Biden and a litany of other nonsensical bullshit that their minds shart out through their brain's anus which is their mouth but they have found some amount of moral outrage that Liberals are saying simply awful things about Trump's very obvious mental decline.
 
They are at full froth at so many Democrats enjoying the fact that Mr. Trump did not even have the time or self respect to not put on that disgusting spray tan embalming fluid onto his face that allows him to play the Geriatric Playboy like Hugh Heffner himself except it is obviously clear that Melania nor anyone else is willing to do diaper dootie and pretend that the Presidential Mushroom is still functioning with a catheter in it.

Yesterday there was a strange occurrence that showed someone on the second floor of the White House opening a window and tossing a garbage bag out onto the White House Lawn. The second floor is where the residence is of the President is and that particular part of the White House is known to be a bathroom where someone only allowed on the second floor could throw the contents of something left in the bathroom of the White House in the presidential quarters so disgusting that they were worried that the many maids in the White House could not be exposed to.

What was it? Who would have a reason to throw a trash bag out of the White House Window in the presidential residence in the middle of the day? Since Trump's catheter has been spotted on several occasions it is only logical that Dumbshiticus had soiled himself and was trying to discard the evidence of him soiling himself by throwing a mystery trash bag full of a dirty diaper so rancid that a HAZMAT team would have to suit up to dispose of it in a superfund site.

Naturally I do not condone the liberal hand wringing and cackling like Renfeild as a gentleman of the South at Trump losing so much of his basic humanity that he can no longer control his bowels, bladder or his worst anus, his mouth.

It is unbecoming a gentleman to revel in the ultimate demise of the President of the United States the way he did his own father who would suit up perfectly and forget to put on his underwear.
So here we are with the oldest president ever to con enough morons into voting for his flatulent ass that many world leaders have had to beg for some manner of fumigation of cyanide to relieve themselves of the rotting stench of what can only be said to be the rancid shits of the Hamburglar who has 70 years of McDonald's left over in his bowels that would gag a maggot.

Yes it is true that nobody has seen Trump get up from a chair and walk away since the White House was forced to admit that Trump has a venous condition that makes his cankles balloon into the size of cantaloupes. At his last autopsy, I mean physical, Trump was said to be 6'3" and 224 pounds which are the exact dimensions for Chris Hemsworth and with that 50" waist, I have trouble believing Karoline Leavitt when she has the temerity to say Trump has the same dimensions of Thor when a fat Porky the Pig is more apt.

As many many people have observed that Shitshispants has had numerous episodes of Ischemic heart disease if not strokes, it is becoming more and more apparent that with Trump discussing going to heaven now twice that something terminal is lurking nearby and that perhaps the Grim Reaper has gotten hold of old Donnie Shitshispants with the unending applause of a lot of unrepentant Democrats clamoring for his demise and it is you people I mean to set straight should McTacoTits cross the river Styx.
First and foremost all of you liberal heathens, you will abandon any and all sense of dignity and decorum that we have normally afforded even that traitor Nixon.

If and when we get the glorious news that Trump has finally departed for the gates of hell, you will go to the nearest liquor store and flame whatever money you have on a truly honest week-long bender. What poison you choose is not important. Wayne LaPierre is known to have snorted cocaine off several hookers asses when the Supreme Court handed down that Heller decision and since we will be bidding goodbye to singularly the worst man these United States has ever produced onto the planet, we must sing and dance longer and harder than the first time we heard the Uptown Funk is gonna get ya!

Las Vegas is going through some things at the moment and there is no place better to celebrate and spend your hard-earned celebratory cash than there. There is also a Trump hotel there that could make a 40 story bonfire where we could truck in enough smores for every American who has had to live through this unending MAGA nightmare and yes it will truly offend MAGAts everywhere and it needs to.

They must bear witness to this unholy maggot shedding his mortal coil and the reaction of their fellow Americans. We could call in the Aircraft Carriers and tie Stephen Miller to Trump's corpse and drop it from 30,000 feet while several AC130 SPECTRE gunships ran both of them through the rotor wash until there was nothing left but 600 pounds of crustacean food left.

New York City should have already raised the countdown ball to Trump's inevitable doom. We can play Prince's '1999' over and over along with 'Shiny Happy People' by REM as the people of the planet awaken to the very real news that Trump's darkness has finally reached its dawn and that he is no more.

As a fervent atheist Trump is the perfect example that there is no god because no man since Hitler and Stalin has deserved to be turned into a National Toilet on the National Mall like Donald John Trump.

I have hated him since Barbara Walters was stinking up the airwaves with his endless bullshit. All of my friends hate him and the mutual hatred has brought us all together in an indescribable alliance where we pray and wish that his evil pestilence will finally end and that his children are scorned in the same way Job's children were scorned.

When he dies, mercy grant it soon, we will make his death day a National Holiday so all people young and old can remember how truly evil this vile cretin was and any painting or some manner of PiƱata can be erected every single year and shot with a hellfire missile or a thousand pounds of TNT. Either are perfectly acceptable and should any of you quisling maggots come tell me I suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome I will tell you that with his death, everyone but you are now cured.

May his corpse be the public toilet it deserves to be after someone has some bad guacamole taco shits and can drop a load on Trump whenever the Taco Bell hits.

If you hate this traitor as much as I do and you want to support my scintillating screeds against the evil one, you can join my Patreon for whatever you like or share should you be so daring.



Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Lake Ontario

This whole stupid renaming bit is yet another attempt at distraction from Trump's failing presidency and the Epstein files. Or, even worse, it's to distract us while they are pulling something nefarious. Relatively soon, it will be nice to once again not have to worry about what the "president" is up to.



Is “Lake America” What You Were Promised, Over and Over, MAGA Friends? 

Did the tariffs, $4 per gallon gas, or the punching down on scapegoated trans kids make your lives better, in any way?

A Dying Superpower Discovers Cartography

So Trump looked at 57 % Canadian Lake Ontario and thought: “Hey, this sounds like another naming dispute I can lose in public.”


And so, with gas still above $4 a gallon, the fired host of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice” signed another pointless executive order renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America - ‘effective immediately’


You can really feel the machinations of power when the most consequential maneuver a president can manage is renaming a noun. And “effective immediately” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, for something that Canada’s not obliged to even notice.

 

And sure, it’s desperate and pathetic and easy to mock. If impotent symbolic gestures were economic growth, every American would be rich.


At this point, the presidency is basically an elderly patient with decades of untreated syphilis who’s been given a label maker.


But as common as this may seem, there’s something almost perfectly Trumpian about responding to another diplomatic loss by pretending “vocabulary” is “sovereignty.”


But most deeply stupid men always hurt and sabotage their own “allies” at all stages of their lives; and Trump looks at Canada like a wife that should’ve known better.

The Canadians have weaponized their most terrifying asset: polite indifference.

These tariffs were supposed to bring our Canada to its knees, Instead, Canada brought America to a sad, flaccid naming ceremony.


See, most of us know that Canadians are generally the nicest folks in the world. They’re the kinds of people who say “sorry” when you step on their foot.


They’ve got healthcare, natural resources, functioning institutions; and now, apparently, a lake with America’s name on it - but without America’s permission to use it.


And so Canada has responded to Trumpian aggression with the most devastating weapon available: not caring what deeply stupid Americans call its lake.


Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney taunted Darth Jabba, without even saying his name:


“The name Lake Ontario comes from the Wendat word Ontari’io, which, appropriately, means ‘the lake is beautiful, the lake is big…The name is more than 400 years old, predating both the Confederation of Canada and the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America.”


Carney later said “Canadian women and men also know that things must be called by their name, and this lake is called Lake Ontario – today and forever.”


And today, millions of Canadians are LAUGHING across Lake Ontario, asking:
“You guys ok down there?”


Trump promised to make America feared; but he just made America the punchline at the Canadian border. 

Trey Gowdy Is A Debit To His Race.

But never fear, former GOP Rep. Gowdy is on hand to make the rest of MAGA seem more cerebral.


You remember Trey Gowdy, right? Dismembered and dispatched by Hillary Clinton, he left Congress to exploit the murder of 4 Americans in Benghazi for crass political gain in the private sector.


Gowdy appeared on FOX News, desperate as always for a full-time gig, to says he didn’t care for Trump’s executive order renaming Lake Ontario to “Lake America.” Not because it’s petulant and embarrassing, mind you - but because now because the acronym for the Great Lakes goes from “HOMES” to “HAMES” and the change reminds him too much of “Hamas.


Yes. The man put on clothes, left the house, oozed into the FOX News studio to defend saying “HOMES,” like the saddest white divorced dad using 30 year old hip-hop lingo:


“That's what bothers me about changing the name from Ontario to America, is how close that acronym is to Hamas. It will confuse a lot of kids. That's why I haven't made up my mind on it yet.”


Folks, if your child thinks the Great Lakes, or the acronym “HAMES,” are related to Hamas, your child may have been raised, or educated by, or may in fact be, Trey Gowdy. 


And look, I’m not a complete monster. I know it’s not easy being Trey Gowdy; he’s probably still hurt by Sean Penn winning an Oscar in “One Battle After Another” for ripping off his hairstyle.


But I’m happy to help out here, and I really can.


When I was growing up, we learned to memorize Lakes Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie and Ontario with the helpful pneumonic device “She Made Harry Eat Onions.”


And even with “Lake America,” it’s an easy adjustment from SMHEO to SMHEA.


So just change the words to “Sniveling Minion Has Employment Audition” and everyone will know what you’re talking about.

The Sharpie Doctrine.

The lake didn’t move; the tariffs didn’t work; Canada didn’t surrender and the economy didn’t improve. But somewhere in DC, a dying racist man-baby got excited again about his crayons. 


So go ahead call it Lake America, MAGA friends. What a win for you and your families. Strut around a bit in public so we know this made you happy.


But Canadians and most Americans will still call it Lake Ontario, and the water will continue to not care.


Because America didn’t “win” the lake. America assumed the right to say a different word while standing on its own shore.


Canada walked away with its tariff money, its leverage, its lake, and more dignity that these Americans, groveling before their bloated, bloviating, babbling Berlusconi.


The US once put a man on the moon. In 2026, it put its own name on somebody else’s lake.

So, then. Lake America.

Do you still feel compelled to blindly defend this grotesque racist child, MAGA friends? Is Lake America what you were promised, over and over?

Did the tariffs work like he promised?


Did all the punching down on scapegoated trans kids make your life better in any way?

Are you weary of playing dumb, because you’ve stayed loyal to how his bullshit made you feel back in 2016?

Are you realizing yet that rightwing billionaire media needs you angry; but doesn’t actually care about you?

Do you get yet that certain billionaires and politicians need us to hate each other? Have you grapsed that there are algorithms designed to make Americans hate other Americans?

Are they still gaslighting you into not minding that he really did have cops beaten, for a lie, on the Capitol steps?

It’s not too late to admit you were conned and join the struggle against these corrupt incompetent fascist grifter clowns.

And if you still feel safer in the cult, and are still giving your obedience to liars; bc they hate the same ppl you’ve been groomed to hate?

Then thanks for the gas prices. 

Oh, and that sloppy makeup job makes him look like a tragic old queen. Defend it.


John Fugelsang



remember

remember

deja vu

deja vu

indeed

indeed

Delete Fox "News"

Delete Fox "News"

Probably

Probably