Never pass up a chance to sit down or relieve yourself. -old Apache saying

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

God



Trump Turns Fountain To Shit

Everything he touches turns to shit.

Dear Humans,

HOLY SHIT! Donald Trump has now ruined another American reflecting pool. 

Before we begin, please bless the little heart on this post so the Epstein class billionaires accidentally show it to many more people.

And if this newsletter makes you laugh, join today as a paid subscriber and help keep the #1 Humor publication on Substack independent, growing, and fighting back hard. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

1. Trump Turns Fountain To Shit

Jesus turned water into wine. 

Donald turned water into shit. 

Trump has spent weeks bragging about the historic fountain at Meridian Hill Park in Washington, D.C., where his administration spent millions of dollars “fixing” the water, only for the whole thing to turn brown. 

He must’ve hired Brownwater Services.

Honestly, this shit fountain is THE ultimate metaphor for the entire Trump administration. 

Everything he touches turns to shit.

The White House grounds. The Capitol. The economy. Gas prices. America’s alliances. The Justice Department. The military. Christianity. The National Mall. The first reflecting pool. America’s 250th birthday. The US Soccer team. This fountain. 

You name it, he turns it to shit. 

The man is a Shit Tornado. ðŸ’© ðŸŒª️

He doesn’t have the Midas touch. 

He’s got the Mierdas touch.

Oh. he’ll arrest people. He’ll blame Algaefa. But we all know it’s his fault.

Here is some video of Trump’s Great American Shit Fountain from a good man on the scene:









2. Speaking Of Huge Rivers Of Shit...

Scott Jennings would like everyone to believe he had a perfectly normal twenty minute phone conversation with Mitch McConnell.

Apparently every right wing influencer got an email from the Kremlin telling them to say they spoke with Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes. 

Then Kasie Hunt asked Scott Jennings on live TV if McConnell would be willing to call in to CNN. 

Jennings was squirming HARD.


He’s obviously lying. After all, he gets PAID to lie for American Hitler. And he’s not even good at it. He is just SO mediocre.

Scott Jennings is a bad person and he’s going to Hell.

3. An Important Message From God

They are lying because they think they can get away with it.

They think if they repeat the lie enough times, you’ll shrug.

You’ll move on. You’ll stop paying attention. You’ll stop fighting. And on that day their lie will become the truth. 

They’re counting on your exhaustion.

Good. Let them.

Because every time they tell another bald-faced lie, another decent individual out there blinks their eyes and wakes up.

We have to defeat these fascist liars.

And I believe we shall win in the end.

I have to believe.

And if you’re still here with God now, you believe too.

Because they cannot win.

4. Join the Rebellion

Scott Jennings gets paid to tell lies. I get paid to speak truth to power.

Scott Jennings gets paid to fellate fascists publicly. I get paid to shame people like Scott Jennings back to hell from whence they came.

Letters from God is now the #1 Humor publication on Substack. That didn’t happen because billionaires helped us. It happened because we are relentless.

Paid subscribers are the reason we can keep writing letters, making videos, doing live shows, and building cartoons. They help us tell the truth while billionaire media corporations keep paying people like Scott Jennings to lie to your face.

This is how we keep growing. This is how we keep fighting.

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We’ve built something real.

Now let’s make it impossible to ignore.

Love,

God

Formatting! Bah! Humbug! I am a big follower of God. The online, real one. Not the imaginary one. Online God (OG, for short) is pretty funny, and pretty liberal (natch) whereas the imaginary one is pretty damn capricious, and you never know what shit he/she/it/they might pull.


Tuesday, July 7, 2026

Mitch McConnell

So Mitch McConnell (Republican Senator from Kentucky) has been in the hospital for a few weeks now. Some reports say he is brain-dead. Others insist that several people have spoken to him for "20 minutes" or so. Surely not everyone is lying about talking with him? We know that Trump and his gang of grifters use AI when they feel like it. Another aspect of this "artificial" intelligence is deep fakes, not only video but audio. All you really need are a couple of samples of someone's voice, and you can make them say just about anything you want, and it's very hard to distinguish between the actual voice and a copy. 

The GOP is capable of anything, including the destruction of the United States, and it would not surprise me at all if they had sampled McConnell's voice and have had him "talk" to various people while he is still actually brain-dead. This, to keep him "alive" long enough so that a special election would not be needed. His seat would simply remain open until the November election, and McConnell is not running for re-election.

The following is a writing from another online friend of mine I will identify as L.C. He is a retired doctor and he knows what he is writing about.


About Mitch
I mean the turtle, of course. If you have read my rants, essays, and musings over the years, you will probably remember that the percentage of individuals who survive CPR at age 80+ is in the single digits - probably 1%. Of that number, an even smaller fraction leaves the hospital alive and neurologically intact. It isn't that CPR doesn't work or that first responders are incompetent, it is that we simply aren't designed to survive a prolonged period of cardio-pulmonary arrest - especially not in our later years.

It's because of these realities that I have for decades said that if I collapse from cardiac arrest, please leave me the fuck alone so that I may die in peace. If you want to hold my hand or stroke my face as I lie dying, thank you for that kindness. Just don't be breaking my ribs, blowing your bad breath into my lungs, and all that other "lifesaving" shit. I don't want it. I have already led a long and fulfilling life. Don't screw it up for me.

Mitch, on the other hand, got the "full resuscitation Monty," of course. It should come as no surprise to anyone that he is lying in a hospital bed probably on a ventilator with diffuse anoxic brain injury. That's what would happen to me or maybe you - if either of us were so fortunate as to have lived into the eighth decade of life and then had a cardiac arrest.

So, maybe Mitch still has a heartbeat. I don't know. But he sure as hell isn't going to be voting on any bills or floor motions. He was 84, and that was a good run. Too bad that he used the time he was allotted to run afoul of the Constitution chasing power over justice and democracy.

Mitch, what has happened to you, is going to happen to all of us. I just hope that when it happens to me, I will not be as hated and reviled by my fellow humans as you are after you have taken your last breath. AMF!

no link


Monday, July 6, 2026

Hunter Biden

Hunter Biden (Joe Biden's son) has an X account and has been using it a lot lately, punching at Trump and his greasy gaggle of grifters. Hunter got a pardon from his dad before Joe left office, so....he could actually run for office? At the least, he should speak up repeatedly. Trump and family are just greedily feeding at the trough, while all of the elected Republicans turn and look away, while blaming Biden and Obama for EVERYTHING. Had no idea the GOP hated America so much.


Hunter Biden
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July. I know 
@realDonaldTrump and family did. 

250 years ago we declared independence from a king who ran the colonies as a family business. In just 18 months the Trumps have made King George look like an amateur.

A $620 million Pentagon loan, the largest in the program’s history, to a company Don Jr.’s firm bought into three months before.

An Air Force drone contract to a startup the princelings took public through a golf course company they own a piece of.

The Army’s largest drone motor order ever, to a company where Don Jr. sits on the board and holds millions in stock.

A $24 million Pentagon robotics contract to the company that employs Eric as Chief Strategy Advisor.

A stake in the largest undeveloped tungsten deposit on earth, in Kazakhstan, backed by $1.6 billion in US government support.

Jared’s fund seeded with $2 billion from the Saudi crown prince, now $6.2 billion, 99% of it foreign money from Gulf governments. Over $110 million in fees collected from the Saudis alone. He negotiates American foreign policy with the governments that pay him.

$2.3 billion from crypto ventures their father regulates. More than a million people bought in and lost $2.3 billion. The money didn’t grow. It simply moved from the subjects pockets to the crown’s coffers.

And the next one is already drafted. A proposed ATF rule that will allow guns to be shipped straight to your front door. The government’s own estimate is 3.3 million home gun deliveries a year. Don Jr. sits on the board of the online gun megastore built to cash in. He holds 300,000 shares.

And that’s only the fraction they’ve allowed us to see. Not one subpoena served. Not one search executed. Why hide anything when you own the investigators?

Me? They searched a laptop for six years. Federal prosecutors. Grand juries. Subpoena power. Congressional hearings. They found nothing. I made about $200k a year selling paintings when my Dad was President, and they made my paintings part of an impeachment inquiry.

For six years they’ve asked Where’s Hunter? What about the laptop?

Wrong questions. The right one is 250 years old. Does America belong to a family?

They’ve given their answer. Long live the King.



Sunday, July 5, 2026

worst ever

I was hoping that Trump would join the three other US presidents who died on July 4. Alas. The three are John Adams (1826), Thomas Jefferson (1826), and James Monroe (1831), all among this country's "Founding Fathers." Trump doesn't quite (ahem) compare to those three, no matter how many lies they tell about him, but it still would have made the 4th even better than it was.



You know why Donald Trump will almost certainly go down as one of the worst presidential mistakes in United States history?

His supporters.

Forget who they voted for. It is what it is. The issue isn’t just that they voted for him — it’s that they don’t hold him accountable for anything. They just move the goalposts, make excuses, and believe whatever drivel he sells them.

Back in 2016, key pillars of his campaign included having Mexico pay for a border wall, a “great” plan for healthcare, passing congressional term limits, and “very easily” reducing the national deficit and eliminating the national debt.

Yet he did absolutely none of that.

Mexico didn’t pay a single penny for the roughly 52 miles of new wall he built (which equates to barely over 10 miles a year). He never had a plan for healthcare and still doesn’t. He hasn’t mentioned term limits for members of Congress since his 2016 campaign. And he not only ballooned deficits — he added trillions to the national debt.

They don’t care. They’ll make excuses.

Additionally, he called the monthly jobs reports “fake” up until he was sworn into office. He then proceeded to take credit for every single one of them, including the one released less than two weeks after he took office, even though they came from the same sources, were calculated the same way, and reflected essentially the same economic growth he previously called “terrible” under Obama.

They don’t care. They’ll make excuses.

He’s literally on video saying he wouldn’t have time to play golf because he would be working so much. Except, of course, records show that he has played more golf during his first five years than Obama did in eight — even though Trump frequently attacked the former president for playing golf.

They don’t care. They’ll make excuses.

Even the 2024 election: after spending much of Election Day pushing lies and conspiracies about “mass voter fraud,” those comments magically vanished once results started moving in his direction and it became a very real possibility he was going to win.

Amazing how that works, isn’t it?

There he is — the person these folks wanted in charge of the country — pushing one conspiracy after another, laying the foundation to deny election results if he were to lose, then suddenly stopping (and seemingly no longer caring about the “voter fraud” he claimed was happening) once it looked like he was likely to win.

Which, of course, is presented as evidence proving that when Trump wins it’s “fair,” but anytime he loses, he claims it was “stolen and rigged.”

They don’t care. They’ll make excuses.

Now there’s his current presidency, where he promised to lower prices on Day 1, end the war in Ukraine within 24 hours, lower the national debt (again), pass healthcare legislation (again), and be the one person who wouldn’t get us into a war with Iran — the opposite of every single one of those things has happened.

Prices continue to rise, as inflation has hit three-year highs and wasn't any better before his war than when he took office. The war in Ukraine is worse today than it was when he was elected. The national debt is growing at a record pace. He's still never produced a comprehensive healthcare package, just legislation that stripped it away from millions of Americans. And he started the war with Iran he spent 10+ years saying he was the one person who never would.

But they don’t give a damn. They just make excuses.

The fact that the overwhelming majority of his supporters don’t hold him accountable for anything is why he’s able to lie, cheat, and get away with whatever he wants. And that’s exactly why I believe he will be remembered in U.S. history as one of the worst presidents this country has ever had — twice.

Not just because he's absolutely awful, but because MAGA never holds him accountable for anything. They just buy his bullshit and make more excuses for him.


Saturday, July 4, 2026

Don't Stop Believin'

An online friend, Joshua Zachariah Ellis, wrote this short one below. Perhaps "The Star-Spangled Banner" should be retired. I never have been too comfortable with bombs bursting in air, not to mention the land of the free and home of the brave, which now seems like a cruel joke. Both of those things - freedom and bravery - seem to be in shorter and shorter supply these days, especially considering our current Congress. Bravery? LOL.

And the other verses, besides the first verse that everyone knows, are in fairly Old English and are a bit difficult to decipher. And then we have the 3rd verse which seems to praise slavery, and I think we could use an update. Just because something "used to be" doesn't mean it should always "be."


I feel like this might be the right moment to once again float my absolutely serious idea that "The Star-Spangled Banner", the national anthem of the United States of America for almost a century, should immediately be replaced by "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey.

You think I'm joking? I'm not joking. It's the most American song of all time - a small-town girl and a city boy meet on a train going anywhere and fall in love. OK so there's not actually such a place as south Detroit - that dismissal of actual reality for what sounds good is American as hell too.

And, let's be honest, it'd weed out a lot of potential awful singers at baseball games too. You think that one high note near the end of "Banner" is rough? Imagine that shmuck kid from your local high school's glee club tryna keep up with Steve Perry on that "streetlight peopu-oh-uh-WUUUUUUUUHHHHHLLLLL".

And let's face it, which one would fill you with more joy to sing along to badly with your hand over your heart at the stadium? Which song makes you prouder to be a god damned American?

So let's make a change, America. Because in these fraught and uncertain times, now more than ever, as a people, as a nation... don't we need, more than anything, to hold on to that feeling?


Happy 4th

Well, one thing is damn certain. We are not going to Washington, D.C. for the "State Fair." Anyone who goes outside in that heat has got to be a little off in the head. If you ain't, you will be after a few hours in that heat. Trump is doing his best to fuck up this country, but he will not be successful, at least not completely successful. We didn't come this far to give up our country to a demented narcissist who continually shits his pants and insults anyone who doesn't agree 100% with him. Not gonna happen. I'm not sure if Oliver Kornetzke wrote this or Jim Fly did. Doesn't really matter.
Oliver Kornetzke tells it like it really is, "250 years. Two hundred and fifty fucking years of the most powerful, most resourced, most theoretically capable nation in the history of human civilization and here is what we have to show for it.

Forty million people on food stamps, thirty million without health insurance, the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world, the highest incarceration rate on earth, an opioid crisis that has killed over half a million people and counting, a housing market so broken that working people cannot afford to live in the cities they work in, an education system that buries young people in debt before they earn their first dollar, infrastructure that is literally collapsing, a life expectancy that is going backwards, a political system so thoroughly purchased by concentrated wealth that the laws it produces bear almost no relationship to what the public actually wants or needs, a working class that has not seen meaningful real wage growth in thirty years, a mental health crisis so severe we normalized it, a gun violence epidemic so routine we don’t even act when preschoolers are slaughtered, and a climate hurtling toward catastrophe while the people paid to address it collect checks from the industry causing it.

Two hundred and fifty years of that. And to celebrate, we built a wrestling arena on the White House lawn.

Not a hospital, or a school, or a housing development. Not a single fucking thing that addresses a single goddamn item on the list above. A wrestling arena. With cranes and pyrotechnics and a steel arch that probably cost more than the annual budget of three rural counties combined, erected in front of the building where Lincoln and Roosevelt and every president who ever tried to make any of this mean something once lived and worked and in some cases died trying.

Truthfully, this is not a departure from American values. This is the fullest possible expression of them. Because this is what we chose. Every single time the choice was presented.

We built a culture where a football coach makes forty times what a physics professor makes and then express genuine bewilderment at the outcomes. Where a reality television star becomes president and a school district cuts its art program in the same fiscal year. Where children know every statistic of every player on their favorite sport team and cannot locate their own country on a map. Where scientific consensus on vaccines, climate, evolution, and basic nutrition gets weighed against a Facebook post and the Facebook post wins at the dinner table. Where the school that wins the state championship gets a parade and the school that produces a Nobel laureate gets a budget cut.

We chose the bomber over the teacher. The tank over the clinic. The aircraft carrier over the water treatment plant. We spend more on military than the next ten countries combined, including our allies, while veterans sleep on the streets of the cities they came back to.

We built the most expensive killing apparatus in human history and then told the nurse she made too much money. We sent young men to die in wars that made defense contractors rich and called it freedom and put a yellow ribbon magnet on the back of the car and called that support. We made the soldier and the police officer into sacred untouchable symbols of national identity and then cut their benefits, denied their PTSD claims, let them die waiting for VA appointments, and sent them back for third and fourth tours because it was cheaper than taking care of them when they came home.

We worshipped the uniform and neglected the human inside it because the uniform is a symbol and symbols are cheaper than healthcare and housing and the therapy that would actually help.

We built bases in a hundred and fifty countries and could not build enough affordable housing in fifty states. We funded a military budget that could have ended homelessness and medical debt and student debt several times over and we did it with bipartisan enthusiasm and called the people who questioned it unserious.

We chose entertainment over education so many times and for so long and at every available level of society that we forgot there was a distinction worth making. Spectacle over substance, performance over policy, the aesthetics of greatness in place of the actual thing, and the feeling of winning instead of asking what was being won and who was paying for it and what it would cost the people who came next.

Rome had bread and circuses. We Americans have food stamps and a wrestling ring outside the Oval Office.

250 years. This is what we built. This is what we chose. This is what we are celebrating.

And the most perfectly, catastrophically, irreducibly American thing about all of it is that anyone pointing at this image and asking what it means will be called unpatriotic by people watching it on a television they bought on credit they cannot afford to pay back, rooting for a sport they cannot explain, in a country they cannot describe, celebrating a birthday they cannot contextualize, for a nation that has spent two and a half centuries confusing the noise it makes with the work it never did, all while claiming to be the greatest country on Earth.

Happy Birthday America! You have never looked more like yourself!"
-Jim Fly


remember

remember

deja vu

deja vu

indeed

indeed

Delete Fox "News"

Delete Fox "News"

Probably

Probably