Friday, July 10, 2026
the heat!
Thursday, July 9, 2026
Texas Reporter
But Americans need to stop acting shocked when people in other countries hate the leaders who bomb them.
We attacked Iran. We fired missiles into their country. We have threatened to “obliterate” them. We talk about ancient civilizations like they are disposable, inferior, or somehow less human than us.
And Iran is not some empty spot on a map. It is one of the oldest civilizations on Earth. It is Persia. It is Cyrus. It is Xerxes. It is poetry, architecture, scholarship, faith, history, and culture stretching back thousands of years before the United States existed.
I’ve read about pre-revolutionary Iran, post-revolutionary Iran, the Iranian Revolution, and Operation Ajax, when the United States and Britain helped overthrow Iran’s elected government in 1953. That history matters.
So no, I’m not celebrating anyone threatening to kill Donald Trump.
But I also understand that when the head of state of the country bombing you and threatening to destroy you is viewed as a terrorist by the people being bombed, that anger did not come from nowhere.
You do not have to endorse violence to understand cause and effect.
You do not have to support the Iranian government to recognize the humanity of the Iranian people.
And you do not get to bomb people, threaten their country, mock their poverty, interfere in their politics, sanction their economy, and then act confused when they hate you.
Wednesday, July 8, 2026
God
Trump Turns Fountain To Shit
Everything he touches turns to shit.
Dear Humans,
HOLY SHIT! Donald Trump has now ruined another American reflecting pool.
Before we begin, please bless the little heart on this post so the Epstein class billionaires accidentally show it to many more people.
And if this newsletter makes you laugh, join today as a paid subscriber and help keep the #1 Humor publication on Substack independent, growing, and fighting back hard. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
1. Trump Turns Fountain To Shit
Jesus turned water into wine.
Donald turned water into shit.
Trump has spent weeks bragging about the historic fountain at Meridian Hill Park in Washington, D.C., where his administration spent millions of dollars “fixing” the water, only for the whole thing to turn brown.
He must’ve hired Brownwater Services.
Honestly, this shit fountain is THE ultimate metaphor for the entire Trump administration.
Everything he touches turns to shit.
The White House grounds. The Capitol. The economy. Gas prices. America’s alliances. The Justice Department. The military. Christianity. The National Mall. The first reflecting pool. America’s 250th birthday. The US Soccer team. This fountain.
You name it, he turns it to shit.
The man is a Shit Tornado.

He doesn’t have the Midas touch.
He’s got the Mierdas touch.
Oh. he’ll arrest people. He’ll blame Algaefa. But we all know it’s his fault.
Here is some video of Trump’s Great American Shit Fountain from a good man on the scene:
2. Speaking Of Huge Rivers Of Shit...
Scott Jennings would like everyone to believe he had a perfectly normal twenty minute phone conversation with Mitch McConnell.
Apparently every right wing influencer got an email from the Kremlin telling them to say they spoke with Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes.
Then Kasie Hunt asked Scott Jennings on live TV if McConnell would be willing to call in to CNN.
Jennings was squirming HARD.
He’s obviously lying. After all, he gets PAID to lie for American Hitler. And he’s not even good at it. He is just SO mediocre.
Scott Jennings is a bad person and he’s going to Hell.
3. An Important Message From God
They are lying because they think they can get away with it.
They think if they repeat the lie enough times, you’ll shrug.
You’ll move on. You’ll stop paying attention. You’ll stop fighting. And on that day their lie will become the truth.
They’re counting on your exhaustion.
Good. Let them.
Because every time they tell another bald-faced lie, another decent individual out there blinks their eyes and wakes up.
We have to defeat these fascist liars.
And I believe we shall win in the end.
I have to believe.
And if you’re still here with God now, you believe too.
Because they cannot win.
4. Join the Rebellion
Scott Jennings gets paid to tell lies. I get paid to speak truth to power.
Scott Jennings gets paid to fellate fascists publicly. I get paid to shame people like Scott Jennings back to hell from whence they came.
Letters from God is now the #1 Humor publication on Substack. That didn’t happen because billionaires helped us. It happened because we are relentless.
Paid subscribers are the reason we can keep writing letters, making videos, doing live shows, and building cartoons. They help us tell the truth while billionaire media corporations keep paying people like Scott Jennings to lie to your face.
This is how we keep growing. This is how we keep fighting.
So if this post made you laugh, made you feel less alone, or reminded you that these people are not invincible, join our community today as a paid subscriber.
We’ve built something real.
Now let’s make it impossible to ignore.
Love,
Formatting! Bah! Humbug! I am a big follower of God. The online, real one. Not the imaginary one. Online God (OG, for short) is pretty funny, and pretty liberal (natch) whereas the imaginary one is pretty damn capricious, and you never know what shit he/she/it/they might pull.
Tuesday, July 7, 2026
Mitch McConnell
Monday, July 6, 2026
Hunter Biden
@realDonaldTrump and family did.
250 years ago we declared independence from a king who ran the colonies as a family business. In just 18 months the Trumps have made King George look like an amateur.
A $620 million Pentagon loan, the largest in the program’s history, to a company Don Jr.’s firm bought into three months before.
An Air Force drone contract to a startup the princelings took public through a golf course company they own a piece of.
The Army’s largest drone motor order ever, to a company where Don Jr. sits on the board and holds millions in stock.
A $24 million Pentagon robotics contract to the company that employs Eric as Chief Strategy Advisor.
A stake in the largest undeveloped tungsten deposit on earth, in Kazakhstan, backed by $1.6 billion in US government support.
Jared’s fund seeded with $2 billion from the Saudi crown prince, now $6.2 billion, 99% of it foreign money from Gulf governments. Over $110 million in fees collected from the Saudis alone. He negotiates American foreign policy with the governments that pay him.
$2.3 billion from crypto ventures their father regulates. More than a million people bought in and lost $2.3 billion. The money didn’t grow. It simply moved from the subjects pockets to the crown’s coffers.
And the next one is already drafted. A proposed ATF rule that will allow guns to be shipped straight to your front door. The government’s own estimate is 3.3 million home gun deliveries a year. Don Jr. sits on the board of the online gun megastore built to cash in. He holds 300,000 shares.
And that’s only the fraction they’ve allowed us to see. Not one subpoena served. Not one search executed. Why hide anything when you own the investigators?
Me? They searched a laptop for six years. Federal prosecutors. Grand juries. Subpoena power. Congressional hearings. They found nothing. I made about $200k a year selling paintings when my Dad was President, and they made my paintings part of an impeachment inquiry.
For six years they’ve asked Where’s Hunter? What about the laptop?
Wrong questions. The right one is 250 years old. Does America belong to a family?
They’ve given their answer. Long live the King.
remember
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