You know that life is all in how you react to things. It's not really what happens to you, it's how you react to what happens to you. Psycho-babble, perhaps, yet it's true. It's a weird world.
C’mon, get happy: Experts say you can
First the good news: Overall, we’re a pretty happy society.
Now the bad: Some of us aren’t feeling the love.
A recent study by the University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center finds 14 percent of Americans reporting they are “not too happy,” the highest percentage in the survey since 1972. Though the remainder of the respondents to the General Social Survey, to be released this month, said they were “very happy” (32 percent) or “pretty happy” (54 percent), the “not too happy” contingent caught the eyes of those who study happiness.
You don’t need to be in Mensa to figure out why a growing population considers itself to be down in the dumps. Everywhere you look there are more signs of trauma in the American economy: job losses, home foreclosures, bank failures.
“Those are salient, vivid changes. People are very sensitive to changes in their lives,” said Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Riverside and author of the book The How of Happiness. “It’s not surprising at all that our happiness would be affected.”
Tom Smith, director of the National Opinion Research Center, cautioned against making a correlation between the “not too happy” spike and the poor economy.
“It is not a direct correlation to the recession,” Smith said, adding that having more money doesn’t necessarily make for a happier person. (Being married, however, does: It’s the single biggest predictor of happiness.)
Be that as it may, it’s tempting to see the economic downturn as a reason for what may be a growing segment of less happy Americans.
“There’s an increase of discontent, uncertainty, anxiety and anger that’s a product of the recent changes in the economy,” said W. Doyle Gentry, a clinical psychologist and author of Happiness for Dummies.
But, he added, a rise in the number of people who describe themselves as “not very happy” (such as those in the survey) does not mean they are necessarily unhappy people.
“Part of what’s going on has to do with semantics,” Gentry said. “Happiness is a state of mind that is independent of other states of mind like anger, anxiety and so forth. People tend to think if I’m not happy, then I’m unhappy.”
That more people may be less happy today isn’t necessarily an indication that we are living in an unhappy society, Lyubomirsky said. Why? Because we adapt, she said.
“There’s a phenomenon called hedonic adaptation. It basically means that people adapt and get used to things,” she said. “Let’s say you suddenly have less spending power. You feel less wealthy because you have less money in the bank. That’s going to make you unhappy. What happens is that you get used to that. Our daily life is not determined by the size of our savings account. We’ll adapt to almost everything.”
We even have the power to make ourselves happy, said life coach Laura Berman Fortgang. Simple things such as getting more exercise and sunlight can result in shiny, happy people.
Lyubomirsky agreed, preferring (as happy people are wont to do) to look on the bright side of the survey — more than eight in 10 of us are at least “pretty happy.”
“On average, people are happy. Look how many people are still happy,” she said. “A lot of happiness is under our control.”
Happiness, she even suggested, is contagious. And she’s right.
A study released in the British Medical Journal in December concluded that happiness spreads readily through social networks of family members, friends and neighbors. The study found that knowing someone who is happy makes you 15.3 percent more likely to be happy yourself.
In other words: Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Or, as the Partridge family implored, “Come on, get happy.”
“Happiness is not something that finds you or falls out of the sky. You have to work at it. You have to work at it more now than when times are good,” Gentry said. “Put on a happy face. When people smile, it causes other people to smile. It’s a contagious thing.”
And a learned thing. We can get happy, Gentry said, if we put our minds to it.
“That’s where America distinguishes itself. We’re the most optimistic culture in the world. Americans remain largely upbeat,” he said. “Yes, it’s harder to be upbeat now. But people are still trying to put their best foot forward. And that’s how we’re going to get out of this. We’re going to ‘behave’ our way to a better time.”
HAPPY GRUB
Feeling down? You can actually eat your way toward a happier place. Certain foods can make us feel better by boosting our energy or putting us in a better mood. These five foods might put a smile on your face.
• Cereal: Deficiencies in folic acid can make you feel depressed. Breakfast cereals contain folic acid, which boosts levels of serotonin, which regulates mood in your brain. Bring on the Cheerios!
• Walnuts: Foods high in fat can increase endorphins, which can make you happy. omega-3 fatty acids are found in walnuts. They’re also found in flaxseed and salmon.
• Beans and grains: Carbohydrate-rich foods contribute to higher levels of serotonin, which can lead to increased feelings of pleasure. Whole-grain bread, brown rice, potatoes and pasta are carbs that do the trick.
• Tofu: Protein-rich foods, including tofu, contain tyrosine, a mood-boosting amino acid. It also can be found in low-fat dairy products such as cottage cheese, in egg whites, and in lean meats and some fish.
• Eggs: Zinc helps regulate metabolism and promotes a more energetic body. Good thing eggs are a good source of zinc. So too are calf’s liver, raw cremino mushrooms and boiled spinach.
PAGING HAPPINESS
Happiness is ... a book on how to achieve happiness. These five titles explore the subject of happiness and how to get there.
The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World • by Eric Weiner: Part self-help guide, part personal-discovery memoir, the author, a foreign correspondent for NPR, takes readers on a global search of happines • s; not what happiness is but where it is.
Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment • by Tal Ben-Shahar: Grounded in the positive-psychology movement, the author looks at happiness, self-esteem, resilience and goal-setting as part of a personal workbook toward happiness.
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill • by Matthieu Ricard: Drawing from Western philosophy, Buddhist thought and scientific research, the author explains how compassion toward others results in a greater state of happiness.
Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment • by Martin Seligman: In need of an attitude adjustment? The author, a leader in the field of positive psychology, offers a practical map for cultivating happiness and building more and lasting positive emotions in your life.
O’s Big Book of Happiness by O, The Oprah Magazine: A collection of stories from the pages of O about chasing away the blues, fulfilling your dreams and putting on a happy face. Oh, and losing weight.
1. Make ’em laugh: Nothing’s better for the spirit than a good yuk. Tell a joke or play a joke. Get a gut buster going.
2. Color your world . . . YELLOW: Banana and daffodil hues are like instant sunshine. Yellow is a visual pick-me-up.
3. Hang time is good: Get with your girlfriends for a movie (bond over He’s Just Not That Into You). Homeboys, go see Fanboys together.
4. Get horizontal: Studies suggest that the more sex you have the happier you are. A healthy sex life is important to a successful marriage.
5. Start making scents: Good smells can trigger good moods. Try a new perfume. Buy some flowers for your desk. Wake up and smell the coffee.
THE SMILE FILE
Whether unhappiness is brought on by the economy, marital problems or just persistent blues, life coach Laura Berman Fortgang says there are ways to increase your happiness level. The author of What Now?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction offers five tips.
• Let the sun shine in: Lack of sunlight and vitamin D can cause the blues. Using brighter light in your home can help simulate spring and summer sunshine.
• Get the blood pumping: Exercise, join a gym, take a walk or anything else to get mobile and in motion. Staying active is beneficial to a positive outlook.
• Keep stress in check: If you’re facing unemployment or job instability, don’t take the stress out on your family. Have “venting time” and supportive friends to keep your challenges in check. Separate your work and home life to manage stress.
• Find meaning in small things: Appreciate what you have; focus on good relationships and activities you enjoy. Doing small kindnesses for others will make your own happiness rise.
• Take a mental inventory: At the end of the day, give yourself a pat on the back. It will help you focus on the positive things you did throughout the day.
Original story is here.
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