RU liberal?

Are you a liberal? Douglas Wood has a metric.

YOU’RE A LIBERAL IF: Perhaps you were raised, as I was, in a Republican household. You may have even, in years and decades past, voted for Republican candidates, even for President. And you may have thought yourself a somewhat ‘moderate,’ middle-of-the-road, plain-old-vanilla good citizen.

If so, then it may come as quite a shock to learn that you have become, in the age of MAGA, a lib’rul. Or, worse than that a f—ing lib’rul. Or a r—tard. Or a f—-ing r—tard. Or a f—tard. Or a socialist, or a commie, or scum or vermin or an ‘enemy of the people.’

Well. Be not confused, my friends. It’s alright. Turns out that it’s not that hard, in the world of MAGA, (which has the intellectual depth of a rain puddle) to identify what a liberal is now. (Yeah, we’ll just stack all those other names under the same liberal category.) So here we go. YOU are now a liberal if…..

If you read.

Books.

If you think.

If you believe in the Constitution.

If you are somewhere ‘left’ of fascist.

If you don’t beat Capitol Police with ball-bats.

Or spear them with flagsticks.

Or spray them with mace.

Or try to hang a vice-president.

If you believe in elections.

And don’t try to overturn them.

If you don’t believe in pardoning—and paying off—violent insurrectionists.

If you think black people and brown people and any people who aren’t *president should still have the same voting rights.

If you believe voting actually IS a right.

If you think immigrants are human beings.

If you think the United States of America should not be building concentration camps.

If you think that public lands should be in public hands.

If you believe in education.

If you realize that vaccinations have saved approximately 154 million human lives, with a 40% global decline in infant mortality.

If you have a trans friend or member of the family.

If you think that women—like men—should have control of their own bodies.

If you think that Christianity (like others) is a fine religion—but is to be found in the Bible and in the hearts of believers, not coming out of the braggart mouths of idiots and bigots and a former Fox talking head now renamed the ‘Secretary of War.’

Good God.

If you think that war is a deadly serious business.

And not a game.

Or a propaganda exercise.

If you think for yourself and don’t let a cult leader do your ‘thinking’ for you.

If you have a spine and a brain.

If you honor the memories, lives, deaths, and sacrifices of generations before—many of whom fought fascism, and who the current ‘commander in chief’ labels as losers.

If you believe that bone spurs are not the same as military medals.

If you think that governmental corruption on an industrial scale is a bad thing.

Along with nepotism.

And galactic stupidity.

If you think that Air Force One should be an American plane and not a ‘gift’ from Qatar.

If you think reporters and cabinet members are not ‘decoys.’

If you think that democratic South Korea is a better ally than communist dictatorship North Korea.

If you value clean air, clean water, wild things and wild spaces for future generations.

If you think our United States protected wilderness areas should not be handed over to multi-national, corrupt corporations.

If you think that Abraham Lincoln was a better President than the Creature currently in the White House.

If you know who you are.

And don’t need a cult leader to tell you.

Yeah, there’s more. Lots more. But that’s probably enough to tell you if, in this strange new world, you are now a proud, flag-waving liberal. So, my advice… embrace it. Own it. Wear it like a badge of honor. Get a button. Write it on your hat. Or a lawn sign. And don’t let anybody—any mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, Fox-watching, election-denying, fascist-loving, civics-flunking, America-destroying ‘conservative’ tell you otherwise. And, Oh! Remember. There was a time when the name/label Conservative also meant something as well. Something good and decent and intelligent and patriotic. No more. But maybe, someday.

Someday….

(This is my latest Substack post. You can support/subscribe to me there at Notes From The Campfire@douglaswoodauthor. Thanks!)

Douglas Wood is an American author, speaker, musician, and wilderness guide.