Nabeel Khokhar Bhai gave his bride-to-be an interesting gift: A billboard offering a general apology for being a "dirty, sneaky, immoral, poorly-endowed slimeball." We don't know what Bhai did, but it must have been a doozy.
What kind of Psychometer would this be without an elected representative saying something obscenely racist? Rep. Jeff Duncan of South Carolina weaved an embarrassing metaphor to a crowd of college students likening illegal immigrants to home-invading rodents.
He may have directed the hit "Tower Heist," but Brett Ratner didn't have the best week. You know you may be having PR trouble when you have to confirm that you "banged" Olivia Munn but did not masturbate with shrimp in the same sentence, as Ratner did.
James Franco, the Most Serious Artist of Our Time, is going to hold a seance for Tennessee Williams, right on the heels of some kind of James Dean project that involves dildos. To be honest, we're officially exhausted following all the Important Art created by the worst thing about "Spider-Man 3."
Kirk Cameron took a break from scolding people for not loving Jesus to scold people for not knowing this country's important documents. He asked a TV audience whether the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence starts with "Four score and seven years ago," before revealing, trick question, that it was the Emancipation Proclamation -- and not the Gettysburg Address, like it is in real, non-Truthiness-based life.
A Virginia GOP committee celebrated Halloween very festively this year, but they forgot to not pass around a pamphlet depicting a Zombie Obama complete with bullet holes and other wounds.
Should we really feel bad for Herman Cain? He's still the GOP frontrunner without managing a halfway serious campaign. And between his newfound brotherhood with the Koch brothers, as well as a sexual harassment scandal whose facts he can't keep straight, Cain has proven that he's either a genius or the luckiest former pizza CEO of all time.
Ann Coulter says a lot of nonsense simply to rile up liberals, but claiming that that the Republican party's black people are "so much better than" the Democratic party's black people was over the line -- even for her. We know what Coulter meant, but when such poor common sense is displayed, we have to call it out.
Kim Kardashian once again defended her title of World's Most Useless Human Being by ending her marriage only 72 days after her $18 million wedding, offending gays who can't get married, the poor and unemployed, and anyone with a moral compass in one swift stroke.
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