The U.S. military announced that July was the least deadly of the past eight months for American troops in Iraq, with only 75 soldiers killed. 1
Seventy-six U.S. senators had visited Iraq, and 3 percent of Americans approved of how Congress was handling the war, which was costing the United States and Great Britain more than $4,000 each second.2 3 4
It was estimated that 90 percent of Iraq's artists had fled the country or been killed,5 and Iraq's gays were being targeted for murder, though one observer noted that the scale of sectarian violence made it difficult to say whether gays had been killed for any specific reason. “I'm just looking for salvation,” said a gay pharmacist. “Maybe next month you will call and my family will say, 'Oh, he is killed.'”6
South of Baghdad, a handsome Sunni insurgent nicknamed George Clooney was shot by members of his own tribe and turned over to U.S. forces.7
Presidential hopefuls Barack Obama and Rudy Giuliani pledged to invade Pakistan,. 8 9 and Colorado Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo said that, if elected president, he would respond to terrorism on U.S. soil by bombing the Muslim holy cities of Mecca and Medina. 10
The price of oil reached a new high,11 Starbucks said that it would raise its prices by 3 percent,12 and Walt Disney World increased ticket prices for the third time in two years, to $71.13
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales declined to discuss whether he had perjured himself before Congress,. 15 and an online video game that allows players to Torturetorture} and kill corrupt officials and their children proved so popular in China that the game's website crashed.16
In India, where dung-smoke clouds were warming the upper atmosphere, more than 1,000 people had been killed in recent floods, and Bollywood star Sanjay Dutt was sentenced to six years of “rigorous imprisonment” for possession of illegal firearms. “Don't get perturbed,” the judge told Dutt, “for you have many years to go and work like the 'Mackenna's Gold' actor Gregory Peck.”1 2 3 4 5 6
Five hundred inmates contracted food poisoning at Hiroshima Prison, 7 and a New Zealand study found that vegans are disgusted by sex with carnivores because meat-eaters are “composed of the lives of others.”8
Researchers at the University of Texas identified 237 reasons that people have sex, including “he smelled nice,”9 and Bob Allen, a Florida State Representative who sponsored a bill to curtail sex in public parks, said that he recently offered oral sex to a man in a park because he was afraid of black people.10
French hip-hop star Doc Gyneco was pelted with projectiles and booed offstage in Geneva because of his support for French President Nicolas Sarkozy,11 Eddie Murphy confirmed that he fathered a child with Scary Spice,12 and the sex trees of Uganda faced extinction from overharvesting.13
An envoy for the UN Human Rights Council announced that acts of sexual violence by armed groups in Congo “are of an unimaginable brutality that goes far beyond rape” and that victims who survive being shot or stabbed in the genitals are often forced to eat excrement or the flesh of their murdered relatives with whom they have also been forced to have sex.14
A gene that preserves intense emotional memories was discovered in 12 percent of African Americans and a third of Caucasians,15 several boys playing in a forest in Florida discovered a dead man sitting in a chair,16 and at Deception Bay, in Australia, a five-year-old girl found the severed heads of five kangaroos.17
Developers were planning to open a Hooters in Dubai,1 spotted owls were being killed off by barred owls in the Pacific Northwest,2 Israelis convinced Jordanians to overcome their prejudice against barn owls,3 and it was proven that crows remember their enemies.4
A lost and distraught lovebird flew amok on a flight from Bangkok to Manila,5 and ornithologists remained unsure as to why some duck species have such long, swirly penises or convoluted vaginas that spiral in the opposite direction and feature pockets and culs-de-sac. 6
A study showed that penduline tits often abandon their offspring in order to pursue sexual conquests,7 and scientists found that a female mouse with a disabled nasal organ will begin to exhibit masculine behavior: mounting other mice, engaging in pelvic thrusting, and abandoning her young.8
Another team of scientists had bred schizophrenic mice,9 and Australian scientists said that rats can learn the risks of consuming marijuana.10
Marine biologists discovered an octopus with elephant ears,11 and Vice President Dick Cheney described himself as a “unique creature.”12
Congressman Don Young of Alaska apologized for threatening to bite Congressman Scott Garrett of New Jersey,13 and U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts was found ashen and foaming at the mouth. 14
Russia annexed the North Pole,15 Israelis fired apples, chilis, corn, cucumbers, mangoes, and tomatoes into the Gaza Strip,16 and China declared that Tibet's living Buddhas must seek permission from the government before being reincarnated.17
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