Vick: I Found Jesus!

Hall-ay-fuckin-loo-yah!

Didn't take him long, did it? If you haven't already professed your love for Jay-sus, and if you get caught doing something stupid or illegal, like Vick did, you can always trot out the "I found Jesus!" defense, and PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IT!

Still!

And this is supposed to lighten your punishment? Didn't work with George W. Bush did it? Google Bush and "Karla Fay Tucker." And I guess the "I found Jesus" defense won't work for Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig, who was recently popped for soliciting sex in a mens bathroom in an airport. Craig had already - repeatedly - professed his love for Jay-sus. Now, Craig can simply say that God has forgiven him. WHAT A RACKET!

I found Jesus: Vick
By DAVE GOLDINERDAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Tuesday, August 28th 2007, 4:00 AM

Falcons quarterback Michael Vick apologizes for his involvement in dogfighting scandal yesterday after pleading guilty to animal cruelty charges in federal court in Virginia.

NFL superstar Michael Vick apologized yesterday for the first time over his role in a brutal dogfighting ring - and vowed to come back a better man.

"I offer my deepest apologies to everyone," the Atlanta Falcons quarterback said after pleading guilty in a Virginia federal court to animal cruelty charges. "And I will redeem myself. I have to."
Vick could face five years in prison for the torture killings of up to eight pit bulls that were hanged or drowned because they were underperforming in dogfights Vick was bankrolling.

The razzle-dazzle star - now a poster boy for animal cruelty - claimed the lurid accusations have helped him find religion.

"Through this situation, I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God," said Vick, 27. "I think that's the right thing."

Vick will be sentenced Dec. 10; prosecutors recommended he get at least a year behind bars.
He has been suspended indefinitely from the National Football League and could face a lifetime ban for associating with gamblers.

"I made a mistake of using bad judgment and making bad decisions," said Vick, who signed a record $130 million contract in 2004. "Dogfighting is a terrible thing, and I do reject it."
The owner of the Falcons, Arthur Blank, said the team would not immediately cut Vick for contractual reasons. Blank suggested they were planning to dump him but wanted to force him to return part of his fat $22 million signing bonus.

Big-bucks sponsors like Nike, Upper Deck and Rawlings have also raced to end their partnerships with Vick over the stomach-turning charges. Vick spoke out for the first time about the accusations after he formally pleaded guilty in a Richmond, Va., federal courthouse. U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson warned he might impose the maximum sentence.

"You're taking your chances here," Hudson sternly told Vick. "You'll have to live with whatever decision I make." The spectacular case burst onto the public scene in late April when authorities conducting a drug investigation of Vick's cousin raided the former Virginia Tech star's country home and seized dozens of dogs.

Some of the animals showed telltale signs of abuse caused by fighting. Authorities also found equipment commonly used in dogfighting. Vick admitted taking part in the scheme to train the dogs for fighting and going along with the execution of subpar dogs at his Bad Newz Kennels.

He also rubbed elbows with gamblers, although he did not admit placing bets. "What I did was very immature," Vick said. "So that means I need to grow up."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime_file/2007/08/28/2007-08-28_i_found_jesus_vick.html