Medical Stupidity

And now the next chapter in the ongoing saga of poor medical care in these great United States of America.

This past week, the wife was down with the flu. Fortunately, I did not catch it.

Yesterday, Dec 1, she had a CAT Scan scheduled for some gastric distress she's been having, well before the flu hit. I wondered if we should cancel the CAT Scan, since it was now on the heels of the flu, but we went anyway. We had already done an endoscopy on her last month, which revealed nothing we didn't know already. That is, she's got some recurring gastritis, especially on the left side, but the endoscopy did not reveal the cause. So, you move to the next step, a CAT Scan.

The hospital, which will remain unnamed, is now on our shit list. Actually, it got on our shit list last year for a different issue, but I guess we forgot, or something.

This trip brought it all back.

When we checked her in for her scan, the first thing Nurse1 did (I'm being generous with the title) was give her a bottle of barium contrast to drink. I wish we had looked over this site before the scan, because it would have reduced the frustration we felt. As it was, we came unprepared. She had not expected to have to drink anything. We obviously didn't read up before the scan, and no one bothered to inform us. She's still getting over the flu, and now she's supposed to drink this milky-thick liter of nasty shit? That went over really well.

Also, she was supposed to do a full blood work-up. Wifey just had one done last month, and the results were transmitted to the doctor. Too bad. Gotta do another one. Rrright.

We waited in the waiting room for 15 minutes before the Bloodtaker showed up. He was about 25 years old and honestly, he had to weigh 400 pounds. You should have seen this guy. What a horrible example of health demonstrated in this hospital. A little overweight, no problem. But this guy was beyond morbidly obese. He literally had to "waddle" down the hall. Lord!

I wasn't present for the bloodtaking. Good thing, as I get really queasy at that stuff. Not surprisingly, the Bloodtaker misses a vein in her left arm so moves to her right arm. So she gets stabbed in both arms, and when she returns to the waiting room she got bandages on both arms, and the left one is bruising pretty badly. During the bloodtaking, wifey asked him how long he'd been doing this. "6 months," was the reply. Oh, just great.

Someone, either the doctor or the hospital, should have told us what to expect before arriving. We get there at 9am for a 9:30 scan, and now she's given blood and has to drink that crap. When we went to the torture chamber, er, waiting room, where she was to drink the barium, there was no one else there.

Eventually, another couple - Couple2 - came in, also for a CT scan. Somehow, Couple2 said they didn't have to drink the barium. And they got called in for the scan before we did. Nice.

My wife was having a hard time drinking much of the barium. She was gagging and saying she felt like throwing up. She went out to Nurse1 and told her that, and Nurse1 gives her a baggie and a little trough into which she could throw up, if she had to. Lovely.

Meanwhile, another couple - Couple3 - comes in, and the female of Couple3 also has to drink the barium. She really struggled with it too. She also said she wasn't told in advance that she would have to drink anything. At least they DID tell her not to eat anything from midnight before. We didn't even know THAT, and my wife had a small meal before we left the house for the hospital. Nurse1 said, "That should be ok, I guess," when we told her the wife had a meal before we arrived. What. Ever.

Now it's 10am, we're already 30 minutes behind schedule, and the wife has only drank a small amount of the barium. I went back out to Nurse1 to ask how long it might be and she is there argueing with Nurse2, "Who's next? What's that? No, you said I needed to do THIS. No I didn't. You don't LISTEN. Change that. To what? Where do I put this? Just fill that out! HOW?! " etc etc. These two Nurses were having a hard time communicating, and they were obviously upset with each other. Awesome.

I thought that I'd like to have a cup of coffee while waiting and I asked Nurse1 where I could get a cup. "Well, I think you can get one in the Cafeteria (you think?), but I think it's closed now." Oh, it's closed? At 10:30am? But I walked over there anyway, and sure enough, it's closed. But, there is a vending machine outside the cafeteria that dispenses coffee. Oh, great, you're going to make me pay for a cup of coffee? Practically any other medical facility that we have visited, and we've visited quite a few this year, GIVES COFFEE FOR FREE. Not this piece of shit hospital. Cheap bastards.

One 8oz cup costs $0.75, and a 12oz cup costs $1. Ok, fine, I'm a captive audience. Assholes. And is one complicated machine. I had to study it for a few minutes first. There are about 100 choices to make, if you want sweetener, or "lightener" in light or heavy doses, together or separately. Decaf, latte, etc etc. An old person - older than myself - would probably look at this like it was Greek and give up. Absurd!

Fortunately, I had a few $1 bills. As you might guess, the machine didn't want to take my $1 bill. It didn't take it and spit it out. It just would not take it. Period. Any of them.

So, more frustrated than ever, I returned to the waiting room, coffee-less, and the wife was a little green from the barium. Sigh. "Where's your coffee?," my poor wife asks. "Don't ask," I snap. Naturally, every employee I see has a cup of coffee.

Couple3, who was also drinking barium, had walked around the corner, because she felt like she was going to vomit, but they came back and said that the Tech told them that they had to wait for ONE HOUR after drinking all the barium to let it "settle" before they could do the scan. So, now it was 10:30am, the wife hadn't finished drinking the barium, and Nurse2 now tells us that "you don't need to drink it all, I guess." Ok, that's a confidence builder.

So, we're going to have to wait ANOTHER HOUR before the test, after finishing the barium that we don't need to finish?! Just fucking great.

Now they called Couple3 away. More time goes by. The wife is feeling really lousy. Only a few days ago she was writhing in agony with the flu, and she's still weak and already a little nauseous. And having to drink this junk. Beautiful.

By 10:45am, we were alone in the waiting room, and wifey says she feels like she's going to pass out. I go to the Nurse station and there is no one to be found. Deserted. I wait around for several moments, but no one appears. Frustrated, I begin to walk the halls. I pass one room, and there is the female of Couple3, puking. Earlier, she had told us that if you vomit, you have to drink more, and you have to keep it down. It's a fucking nightmare around here.

Finally, I find Nurse1 down the hall, and she's arguing with the Tech about who is next. We were supposed to be FIRST, and Couple2 came and went, and Couple3 was halfway there, but of course Couple3 was puking. The Tech looks rather bewildered and rolls his eyes. Argh!!

Ok, enough. I go back to the waiting room, it's now 11:15am, wifey still hasn't finished the barium, it would be at least another hour before we could do the scan, and we decide that we are just going to leave because this whole thing is too disorganized, no one seems to know what the fuck they're doing, and it wouldn't surprise me if wifey got in there and the idiot Tech said something like, "Ok, we're doing a brain scan, right?"

We're going to fire this doctor for not preparing us at all. We're going to fire the hospital. We will never set foot in there again. This is the same hospital that has a reputation for killing people anyway. On the drive home, we remembered a couple of other instances where things went quite awry at this hospital, and why didn't we fire them the last time they fucked up? So, no CAT Scan, yet. No clue why wifey is having such distress.

Our shit list is just growing and growing.