Never pass up a chance to sit down or relieve yourself. -old Apache saying

Monday, September 19, 2011

Last week in crazy

Plenty of crazy to go around. After all, ignorance seems to be celebrated in this country these days. At least on the right end of the political spectrum.










This again? Forever 21 was caught selling a shirt aimed toward young girls that bears the message, "Allergic To Algebra" and other "school is boring" slogans. Only weeks ago, JC Penney yanked a shirt with the message "I'm Too Pretty For Homework!" Seems like the perfect opportunity for some crafty retailer to launch a line of Brainy Girls attire.


Pat Robertson was candid about what he believes people should do when their spouses are afflicted with Alzheimer's: Divorce them. Hey, it's not like there's anything in the Bible about staying married till death, right?


A San Diego man named Jacob Kiss finally turned himself into police after holding up a 7-Eleven dressed as Gumby. At least it wasn't a bad publicity stunt for Eddie Murphy's Oscar-hosting stint.


Oh, Canada. Don't you know you're supposed to be the polite, sensible version of America that we gently mock but secretly want to be best friends with? So when a bunch of white University of Montreal students dressed up in blackface for an "Olympics tribute," we forget how tenderly you seduced us with your socialized medicine and John Candy movies. As an apology, we'll gladly accept Ryan Gosling in every movie.


After South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley went on a taxpayer-funded state trip and racked up quite a bill, she was called out by Renee Dudley of The Post and Courier. In response, Haley told Laura Ingraham, "God bless that little girl at The Post and Courier. I mean, her job is to try and create conflict." She later apologized -- in the cattiest way imaginable. "Everyone can have a bad day. I'll forgive her bad story, if she'll forgive my poor choice of words."


Hey, you hear about this? Michele Bachmann learned the hard way how removed she is from mainstream opinion when Jay Leno, the milquiest milquetoast around, took her to task for her more, um, imaginative claims, such as that HPV vaccines cause mental retardation and that gay people can be "cured."


Two Denver men were arrested after they found their friend dead, and instead of taking him to the authorities, they drove his corpse around to restaurants and strip clubs -- all sponsored by their deceased friend's ATM card. It's like if "Weekend at Bernie's" had less Hawaiian shirts and more real-life horror.


Look, we're all for piling on Sarah Palin for her willful ignorance, her petty rhetorical style and her transparent, self-serving hypocrisy. But we're not fans of publicly (and sleazily) mocking her for who she chose to sleep with in the 1980s, especially if the reports focus on the race of said partners. We're looking at you, unofficial Palin biographer Joe McGinniss.


Rick Santorum ended the Tea Party Express GOP Presidential Debate on a note of ignorance when he accused Ron Paul of having the same agenda as al-Qaeda for writing on his website that 9/11 was caused as a result of the United States' foreign policy, not because they "hate our freedom." Worse, the crowd booed loudly at Paul's nuanced response, as it was more complicated than "let's bomb the entire Middle East."


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