Home Repairs

Months ago we smelled something

Unlike any other

Something was dead

You know the smell

It's unique, like everything else

We never knew what it was

Until...

Why is it taking so long?

And they're still damp?

Something was wrong

With our fabulous dryer

I pulled it out

Away from the wall

And crawled behind

Unhook the vent

What is it?

Oh look, it's a bird

A very dead bird

Stuck in the vent
Remember the smell.

This bird no longer smells

No longer smells like hell

As if there was a hell

Which there isn't.

We called up Sears

They sent a guy

He did some tests

"You're dryer's fine"

"You found a bird?

I'm not surprised

I see it like this

All the time"

They use their beak

To open the vent

And climb inside
And build a nest
And lay their eggs

Where they're safe and warm

I bet there's a nest

Inside your vent

Inside the wall

That's 40 feet tall

Our wall is tall

It's 50 foot tall

It ain't too straight

But it sure is tall

The bird in the vent

Had to crawl and crawl

15 feet east

Then an 8 foot drop

Then a twist and a turn

To finally get stuck

At the back of the dryer

And die

What a way to go.

The vent is there

Near the top

Of the 50 foot wall

There's no ladder

To bring

That's safe enough

To reach that high

Unless you're a fireman

Maybe if I told them my cat was in there...

When I was younger

And still in school

I studied it all

Like rapelling a wall

It's something I thought I'd never need to do...
Just for fun.

Now it's the only way

To reach the vent

Unless I hire

A mighty lift

For 400 dollars a day

I heard of this guy

Who's not all there

He likes to hang

Way up in the air

He uses a rope

To go over the side

And lowers himself

On a plank, what a ride.

On the way down

He stops at the vent

He pries it open

And looks inside

It's a really big nest

And fabric and sticks

And ribbons and fur

It's a really big nest
Or it was....

Now, we have our dryer back!