Never pass up a chance to sit down or relieve yourself. -old Apache saying

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Andy Borowitz

I don't know how many of you are on Twitter, but if you are, I would suggest "following" Andy Borowitz of The Borowitz Report. The guy has been consistently funny for as long as I've been following him: maybe two years now?

Yeah, I know that Twitter is a monumental waste of time and technology, but we need all the laughs we can find. Such is life.

Here are just a few snips of Andy's "tweets" from the last couple of days...



Andy Borowitz
If we're going to investigate possible crimes against Gaddafi, let's round up the guy who did his hair.
7 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Hugo Chavez says Gaddafi's death is an outrage. The only other people in the world who agree with him are Republicans.
8 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Twitter has been super useful in helping me have smaller thoughts.
10 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
The Sunday morning talk shows offer a rare glimpse into the minds of middle aged white men.
11 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
I think the main lesson of the Iraq War is to let recounts in Florida take place.
22 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
One upside of the US being broke is that we might actually have to stop invading countries for no reason.
22 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Cheney says he supports leaving Iraq "as long as we go through Iran."
22 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Bush's statement on withdrawal from Iraq: "Does that mean we found the WMD?"
22 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Boehner: "it is outrageous that we are leaving Iraq before figuring out why we went."
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Iraq is like LOST: it's ending, but no one knows what the fuck it was all about.
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
Former Gov. Mark Sanford has joined Fox News. He'll report a story, then 2 weeks later admit what really happened.
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
So it turns out the Republicans oppose Obama spending billions UNLESS it's on a pointless military quagmire.
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Obama Says US Not Abandoning Iraq: 'We Will Still Follow You on Twitter'
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
With Gaddafi gone, Libya's right to determine its future is now safely in the hands of multinational oil companies.
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
I hope that Libya gets a functioning democracy and someday the US does too.
21 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

Andy Borowitz
On the whole, it was easier to get Gaddafi out of power than to get a single Republican to quit the presidential race.

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He's always watching

He's always watching